Free Beer – Version 2.0

So our ex-roommate Nir left the apartment last week for a new bachelor pad. He invited us for a few beers last night to say thank you for taking him in when he needed a place. Although the only reason he was sans place was he was too lazy to look for one, all is good now as he is moving in with a friend. Now I finish work at 23:00 Jerusalem time which usually means everybody’s pretty shitfaced by the time I get there coz they don’t wait for me and go straight there after work/school/whatever. It didn’t fail this time either. Hubby spent around 40 minutes apologizing and telling me he’s not drunk at all. Apology when not necessary + over protesting sobriety = shitfaced. The problem with hubby is he’s good for a few hours but then he turns into the worst sad drunk you’ve ever met. I usually end up tucking him in promising I won’t leave him and go back to my parents’ house.

Anyway back to last night we had many reasons for celebration since hubby’s friend who introduced us came back from the Americas and with him a girl I’m suppose to know. The girl was very much into Nir, which wouldn’t be a problem if each of her breasts didn’t weigh more than Nir himself! I tell you people it was like a car crash. I felt like I was watching fetish porn “big girls on scrawny guys 4”. And it wasn’t just that, I don’t know how Nir is in when it comes to sex but she looks like she likes it rough! More bad news for little Nir who looks more like a holocaust survivor than anything else. She was standing above him bending his neck backwards and, I think it was kissing but it looked like she was trying to swallow him… You should’ve seen the horrified face of everybody at the table, our friend Guy looked like he was about to shoot himself. And she kept saying (about Nir) "look how cute he is! He's so cute!" That's because he looks like he's you little brother!!!

Anyway I was pretty drunk too, which was fun coz I hadn’t done that in so long! I always end up taking care of everybody else usually. I did end up dragging hubby up the stairs but I’m not too mad, he really needed it. And besides, he didn’t kill anybody and didn’t even try to start a fight – I’m very proud of him! Besides the images seared into my brain forever it was a pretty good night.