Big Scary Serious Post

Saturday night as expected AH was at the birthday with shit-stain. After the emergency room incident I spoke to EM, which is the only one of us who’s been in contact with her. He said I should just let her know I care, I think he’s exact words were “no one ever got worst after hearing people care”. So it took a lot of alcohol, a lot - I kept filling my beer glass with other people’s beer, but I did it. I don’t remember how I started the conversation. But we talked. It was hard and sad, she really looks bad and it makes me feel like shit just looking at her. We didn’t fall into each other’s arms and said sorry. We talked. She said she wasn’t sure I cared, I told her simply “just because I don’t enjoy watching you destroy yourself doesn’t mean I don’t care that you’re destroying yourself”. She said she knows I don’t like shit-stain and I told her he's not the point. I told her we don’t have to have each other over for Christmas dinner but we should be able to be okay. Just okay. It was really hard. I think it made her feel really good.