So a bunch of disgusting things happened to me in the past 24 hours, I don’t know, the planets aligned or smtg…
1 .There is this god white dog roaming the neighborhood lately, he’s very friendly actually. I was out running a couple of weeks ago and he joined me! Anyway Saturday night he got into our garden and I had to rescue Josie (our cat) who was petrified in fear at the huge dog, poor kitty. Same thing happened last night and I tried to get to the cat back in the house through the front door only find myself face to face with a HUGE cockroach. Now, I’m not a girly girl and I have no problem with rats, spiders, snakes and blood, but the only thing that grosses me out to the point of girlish screams is cockroaches. And that one was the mother of all cockroaches. So I closed the front door and locked it in case it was smart enough to use the handle. Apparently he can pick a lock too coz a few minutes later it was on my wall!!! Hubby went after it and the fucking thing jumped on him!! We spent the next hour looking for the monster, which gave me an opportunity to sweep behind the sofa and under the bar. But we never found it
2. The bus stop to work is right outside our building. So I get my shit together and step out of the house and from this very short distant spot a very old and wrinkly ASS. And old woman was pissing behind the bus stop, onto the sidewalk!!! Now I understand when you really gotta go but bitch, there’s a fucking park and a bunch of bushes and trees right fucking there!!! Can’t you hide that nasty crack?!?! Which reminds me once coming back from the store I saw an old Arab guy taking a dump in the park behind our buildings… at least he was behind a tree!!! Nasty!!!
3. After these two stories, the fact that I spent 10 minutes trying to identify the substance in a jar that I found in my fridge doesn’t seem so revolting anymore.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
10 comments:
The hell? do people just shit and piss anywhere over there? Oh mah
god.
NOOO!!! I dont know what's going on! A guy I work with just told me an old lady crapped in front of his in laws door in Tel Aviv?!?!?! What's going on?!?!?!??!
I guess I can't say much, I mean, if you read my first embarrassing confession...... :(
LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!! At least I picked a PRIVATE SPOT, THOUGH! I DIDN'T JUST DROP MY DRAWERS ON THE FLIPPIN' SIDEWALK! HAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sarah, #3 just made me laugh out loud. God there are some nasty people about, and I cannot stand cockroaches. They must always die. Always. Oh god, Jenner. lol. You had special circumstances, love. It's not like you just go around shitting in public for the hell of it!
LOL Jenn - I'm sure you did! and Jess - I still dont know where that roach went, I try not to think about it... Oh - it was very old cream and mushroom sauce :)
GOOD POINT JESS, it wasn't for the hell of it LOLOLOLOLOLOL It was more of the "I NEED A GATDANG WASHROOM RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY STOMACH IS ATTEMPTING TO CATAPULT ITSELF OUT OF MY ANUS" variety.
So yeah, definitely not just for kicks....LOL
OH - and my apologies for the visual, everyone :)
LOLOLOLOLOL!
BECAUSE MY STOMACH IS ATTEMPTING TO CATAPULT ITSELF OUT OF MY ANUS" variety.
The second time I have laughed out loud today. Thanks!
Sarah - I leave you with this thought - if a bug crawled up your nose while you were sleeping - how would you ever really know? I read that in a book once as a kid and it has stuck with me.
Last night, I right before I fell asleep, I felt something odd and crawly in my belly button. It was a freaking tick. NAAAAAASTY. I was outside all day. Little bugger tried to hitch a ride. I grabbed it and flushed it. I did not panic. One cannot panic with ticks. If you lose them, they'll just come back later to suck your blood.
I can't really say much about pissing outside cuz I had to do it outside of the Hofbrau Haus here in vegas once. But it was in a car park and I hid between two cars! Those damned mugs of beer are HUGE man!!!!
Hey, you guys get camel spiders there? *shudders* I remember those well....
Thanks. I have to shower now having read your post. Eeeew!
ok I relate to #1 - I lived in texas for 12 years and sometimes... man, the cockroaches there were just HUGE. and on the wall. in my bedroom, at night, where I was like "hmm what's that black spot up there in the dark?" O_o fucking HORRIBLE.
love your epicurious widget by the way!
Post a Comment