Sunday, January 27, 2008

Stranger Things Have Happened

One of the things I’m thankful for lately is having Ariane back in my life. You all have a pretty good idea of what our relationship has been like. Up and downs, we’re best friends and sometimes best enemies. I’m glad we both decided to let go of the past and stay friends. Friday night we were talking and drinking a lot and she said she was glad shit-stain gave her a ring because that way it keep most guys from coming on to her. I’d been meaning to ask her about the ring before but didn’t want to push. She said she’s never getting married though and I knew that. Then she said something about having kids. Now you must know – she NEVER wanted to have kids, it was one of the things she knew 100% - she would sooner get married than have kids. So I put my beer down and ask her ‘you wanna have kids?’ trying not to sound too surprised. She says yeah and says it’s all shit-stain’s fault, he wants to have kids and he convinced her. She wants one or two kids. But not 3 because shit-stain already has 2 kids from a previous marriage.

You all know I don’t like shit-stain. You know I accepted him as part of her life and so far he’s been supporting her and helping her get better and I can’t argue with the results. I kinda cringed when she said once that he was the one. Deep down I always felt like something is missing and it’s not gonna last. I’m not proud of that but I can’t ignore how I feel about this.

I guess for most people the decision to have children would seem like a life affirming positive change. It’s not the kids part, it’s the fact that she was so sure about not having any and now she’s picking out baby names. People can change their minds, I know, but is this something you can just change your mind about? It’s just feels like too much of a change.

Maybe it’s me, maybe the changes and events around are exaggerated by my weird mood. But I have to say a lot of people are acting out of character and it’s not helping my feeling of isolation.

7 comments:

Brunhilda said...

I'd say that all depends on her. Has she made enough changes in her life to be ready for kids? People can change their minds, but on the big issues they generally stick to their guns. Maybe she's grown up some. I really hope it's not just her saying that becuase she knows he wants them. You shouldn't have to be convinced to have kids, you have to want them. That's a huge, life altering commitment right there. Hmmmmm.

SarahReznor said...

thst's what scared me - she said she wants kids now and 'it's his fault'. doesnt sound like she really thought it through at all....

Brunhilda said...

With her history, I hope she does. Gah. Encourage her to babysit. Maybe that'll change her mind. Is she involved at all with Shitstain's kids right now?

SarahReznor said...

That's a good idea Jess... See - that's what I have you for :) thanx!!!!

Brunhilda said...

BTW, I was checking out your facebook photos yesterday (the bar ones.) Ariane is absolutely beautiful. Quite stunning. She should never settle for a shitstain. lol

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm, you know, I am in agreement that she probably is NOT ready for kids if she had to be convinced to have them. It's a HUGE HUGE change in life. there is no room for selfishness with a kid. Is it possible she truly has changed her mind? Yeah. I didn't want to have kids at all. Didn't like 'em, didn't want to have anything to do with them. Then, one day, I just started wanting one. Now I got one. :)

Melissa said...

I personally feel that it is something you can just change your mind about. it might seem odd from the outside looking in, but I definitely think it's possible.

hopefully, she really does want it though, and feels it deep down, and is doing the right thing for herself.