Hi y'all, wouldn't blame you if you didn't give a fuck but here's a semi good reason why I wasn't around...
I'm having a lot of fun working at the bar and it's everything I wanted... and more... I started having heart palpitation and arrhythmia. My heart stops and starts again for no reason or it starts beating really fast even when I don't do anything. My mother had the same problem a few years ago, except she was about 50 when that happened..! I went to the doctor and she sent me to do a bunch of tests and see a cardiologist. the first thing she asked was if I was under a lot of stress lately... So I did the tests, ultrasound didn't show any problem and the second test, a 24 hour heart monitor was fun. Except 3 days after I did the test my doctor called me, on my cell to tell me I have to see a cardiologist as soon as possible. Now I was already having a bad day so you can imagine... I was at the bar when she called, alone thank god, I started crying like a baby. So I went to a cardiologist last week and he told me it was stress and anxiety, he gave me some medication that's not helping, I'm going back Monday for another test... Everyone keeps saying I'll be fine but I'm still worried, I know, I should calm down, that's the point...
I'm having a lot of fun working at the bar and it's everything I wanted... and more... I started having heart palpitation and arrhythmia. My heart stops and starts again for no reason or it starts beating really fast even when I don't do anything. My mother had the same problem a few years ago, except she was about 50 when that happened..! I went to the doctor and she sent me to do a bunch of tests and see a cardiologist. the first thing she asked was if I was under a lot of stress lately... So I did the tests, ultrasound didn't show any problem and the second test, a 24 hour heart monitor was fun. Except 3 days after I did the test my doctor called me, on my cell to tell me I have to see a cardiologist as soon as possible. Now I was already having a bad day so you can imagine... I was at the bar when she called, alone thank god, I started crying like a baby. So I went to a cardiologist last week and he told me it was stress and anxiety, he gave me some medication that's not helping, I'm going back Monday for another test... Everyone keeps saying I'll be fine but I'm still worried, I know, I should calm down, that's the point...
I know I made a big change and I have to take it slow... Mike and I were going through a rough time lately but I think we worked it out. Still... I managed to give myself a heart condition by freaking out... I don't know, I am happy when I think about it, I guess it's just a lot to take all at once, I did kinda let myself go at my other job and didn't really have a life.
So I'm sorry I wasn't around, I'll write more, seems I need to get some things of my chest. Maybe if I talk about it more it'll help :)
8 comments:
Oh good. You are still around.
Stress does terrible things to the body. I know you have heard this 100000000 times already, but PLEASE...RELAX. Just know that everything is going to be okay. It's normal to worry about your health especially if it has to do with your heart. If you think about it, you were stressed and now you are stressed about your heart. So you have got to find a way to relax. I strongly recommend EXERCISE. I don't mean go run 30 miles on a treadmill. Just try to find time in the day to take a nice walk or to meditate or something. You have to make a very conscious effort to not worry. When you find yourself stressing and staying in your head...think of something else. Or, have a lot of sex. I'm not trying to be funny when I say that. You could also go to an herb store and get St. John's Wort. It's an herbal antidepressant and I'm telling you it works!!! You can't be stressing out like this. You'll really get sick and you are far to young!
And yes, talking about it would really help you. You know that we are all here to lend an ear and to give you support.
It's going to be okay!
I've been convinced more than once that by having so many anxiety attacks and getting as stressed as I do that I'm setting myself up for an early heart attack or aneurysm or something. My body reacts to anxiety SO STRONGLY that afterwards it feels like I ran a marathon and I have to go to sleep for 18 hours. IF I knew how to relax I'd tell ya lol I was better when I was on meds, but I don't wanna be on meds again so it's something I work on every day. And I guess you do, too. Pook's TOTALLY right about the exercise. I don't stick to it as much as I should, BUT OH BOY does it ever help. That's about the best I can recommend for now.
Oh, she's right about the sex thing, too. But since I'm pretty much a virgin again...well, I can't really add to that, myself...LOLOLOLOL
ANYWAY. I am SO glad to see you post again - I'VE MISSED YOU!!! And I hope you get some good news about your heart. You've made some major life changes recently, it's bound to affect you, but yeah, you're just really going to have to start taking better care of yourself, young lady! *wags finger* LOL
And for once it's not just something you say, YOU HAVE TO DO IT. So DO IT. FOR US.
OK, for you...
LOLOLOL ;P
Good advice from both of the wonderful ladies above me in the comments.
Eat well, take walks. Perhaps breathing exercises would help as well.
You'll be okay Sarah. I wish there was more I could do to help you though.
*HUUUUUUUUG*
Oh Sarah, I'm sorry for everything you are going through. I'll pray for you and Mike....(but mostly for you!) I would agree with these ladies and say relax, but I would sound hypocritical. I'm such a worry wart myself. But, I know in my heart that I will pray for you! :)
I second Meli on the deep breathing. I can't tell you how much that helps me at times. It is so amazing the way that can help calm you down.\
Sex always works for me too.
You have been through so much recently, enough to stress anyone the hell out!
I would tell you to try to relax, but I know that doesn't work.
I hope you feel better soon. Don't forget to take care of yourself, my dear.
Now is the time to travel to India for a year (or at least 6 month) of relaxation and soaking up some of their relaxed philosophy, you will change in fundamental ways, and you will stop freaking out in general about anything.
By the way, the Captcha at the bottom says: fuucuk
Is it trying to tell me something?! :-)
wow! doll, that's freaky!
take care of yourself, please.
Thinking about you Sarah. Hope you're doing alright over there.
Post a Comment